The Gift That Lasts

Hi all

I will give you a tip. Type your blog in Word first.

For 2 reasons:

1) You can turn on spellcheck
2) YOU DON’T LOSE EVERYTHING YOU HAVE JUST BEEN TYPING FOR THE LAST 10 MINUTES BY PRESSING THE WRONG BUTTON!

Ahhh, that’s better.

So here goes, a bit of waffle and a bit of ramble.

Thanks for the posts, it’s nice to see someone is reading these.

My question to you is; who buys York Fruits?

Someone must, as they appear in the shops at Christmas year after year (and earlier each year). I can cope with Chocolate Brazils, (I admit to buying these, but not at Christmas).

But York Fruits?

The people who buy these need their bumps feeling.

Is there anyone out there who actually likes them or do you think, when you get them as a present, “Well they really gave some thought to what I wanted for Christmas.”

Maybe there is some vague religious significance I have missed all my Christian life.

I can just see it now,

The Kings (or Wise Man if you prefer) enter the smelly stable, shoving the donkey out of the way, trying to avoid treading in something nasty.

First King: Hi Mary, how ya doing. Jus come from from t'North.....

Mary: Don't you mean the East?

First King: Sort of luv, North-East. Anyway lass, just popped by t' drop you and the ankle biter a pressie off.

Mary: Oooh, Lovely, a nice bag of Gold, that will do very nicely f' when the bailiffs come knocking again.

Second King (bowing and scraping): Oh great and mighty female of the Lord, I bring you offerings that are not worthy of your praise and ask that you receive them from my humble self; I bring you frankincense and myrrh.

Mary: Don’t be so daft Fred. That’s grand. Sit down and have a cuppa; they will do nicely for covering up a few baby smells.

Third King (rushes in out of breath):
All great theologians know there were only three:)

Mary, (puff pant)

sorry love, (heavy breathing),

had a busy few months, (puff, puff, pant),

Christmas got sprung on me this year, (sits down heavily)

and haven’t had time to do any real shopping, (mops brow)

so I nipped into Morrisons, (wrings hanky out)

and got you some, (puff, pant, sweat, mop, wring)

York Fruits.

And the rest, as they say, is history:)

God Bless

Creatist

Eye hath not seen

Hi People

After being chastised by Bigsheff, I thought I would write a bit more on the blog. Mainly because I have a bit of time now as "She who must be adored" (from now on to be referred to SWMBA) has gone off to work and the mini 1 and 2 are in bed.

Those of you who know me will like this one

Get settled, it is a long one.

End of last week after very hectic week at the grindstone (not that pub Bigsheff), thought, must have some time off to recharge the batteries. So booked following Friday off.

Then thought, I won't tell SWMBA and surprise her on the day. But kept checking her social diary just in case she decided to take a trip to western China or something at the last minute.

So the day comes (today), we both take mini 1&2 to their seat of learning and I pretend to head off to sweat shop while she takes mini 1&2 into play (they don't have to do any work until they leave school these days)

I wait for a couple of minutes to make sure SWMBA is out of sight, double back, and wait outside front gates of said seat of learning, just across the road, leaning against a lamp post, looking highly suspicious, and feeling like I am going to be arrested any minute for loitering in area where young peeps are.

There I was, stood there, thinking to myself, she will be surprised to see me and when I tell her that I have took the day of "just to be with her" she will be over the moon.

See SWMBA walking away from seat of learning talking to guardian of mini 2's friend. Both chatting happily away…..

Me standing there thinking, she will be surprised any minute...

SWMBA walks through play area chatting happily away.....

Me standing there thinking, she will be surprised any minute...

SWMBA walks through gate chatting happily away....

Any second now she is only 10 foot away.....Me standing there thinking, she will be suprised any minute...

SWMBA crosses the road chatting happily away....

Any millisecond now she is only 2 foot away.....Me standing there thinking, she will be surprised any millisecond....

SWMBA walks straight past................

Now you would think that after 13 years of marital bliss that SWMBA would spot her own hunk of glory a mile away, never mind 2 foot away.

There have been a couple times in my life when I thought I must be invisible, and a couple more where I wished I was, but this one took the biscuit.

So what did I do, apart from standing there stunned for a couple of seconds, what could I do? She was "chatting happily away" so I couldn't shout out "Oy! missus are you blind" or "Can I borrow yer white stick luv" So what did I do?

I know I thought, I will walk a couple of steps behind and eventually she will notice....

200 yards later, nothing, not a sausage, they could have had a mad axe man behind them and they wouldn't have noticed.

At this point, the said guardian of mini 2's friend parts company with SWMBA, so me thinks again. She must notice now.....

Nope, blind as a bat, off she walks another 100 yards to road where she would have to stop for traffic and she is bound to notice me there.

Nope, might as well have been tree, or bush or any other object that doesn't make a habit of following you down the road.

So SWMBA is just about to cross road, so invisible man says, "Good morning missus".

SWMBA says "Good morning." turns to cross road then......

Have you ever seen those cartoons where light suddenly goes on in brain box. I swear that is what happened here. Expression went from blank, 'I am just passing the time of day' expression to (though left unsaid, her being a lady of breeding) "What the bloody hell are you doing here!"

It was classic! I was worth every second of being an invisible man just to see that look and one I will remember for ever.

After this dramatic start to the day, it was very pleasant to spend some time together without mini 1&2 snapping at our heels and I won't bore you with the details, but.....

NEXT WEEK SHE IS GOING TO THE OPTICIANS!!

By the way the title is taken from:

1Co 2:9 But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.

And as you can see from this tale, he prepares some strange things for you:)

God Bless

Creatist